For the longest time I was resistant to being in front of the camera – visible to everyone. Yet I yearned to share my talent and gifts with the world in a big way – guiding women to overcome their limiting beliefs. I knew I needed to record videos (especially in the online world!), but it just wasn’t comfortable for me. I was intimidated by people who were natural on camera, that they could talk so freely and were enjoying the moment.
Before any event or video, I was nervous, sweating, and emotional. I engaged in negative self-talk: “I can’t do it. What if I lose my words – I’m thinking in a different language!? Will they understand me? Would they listen or criticize me? Did I say it correctly? What did I say, or not say?”
After each presentation or video, I was reluctant to look at the replay. My negative self-critiques were through the roof – full of criticism and judgment. My fear of being visible was a limiting belief of my own I needed to overcome!
Finally, I decided to take the advice I so often give my clients – I journaled about this journey of being visible.
I realized that growing up, my home had the child-rearing philosophy of “Children need to seen, not heard.” We weren’t allowed to speak without permission, and if we did talk, I didn’t feel that someone was listening. I was always the listener. I was being watched closely, but only for criticism – what was wrong with my behavior or my look. I was usually being corrected. I felt like I was constantly under a microscope.
Through the journaling, I realized my upbringing and the feelings it produced were a wound I needed to deal with. I’m not blaming anyone for this wound. I know that my parents did their best at that time to raise us. That was the era back then, they didn’t know any other way. They didn’t have the tools or understanding that we have today, and they were survivors themselves.
Writing out and answering the following questions helped me get in touch with this fear, and I was able to come to peace with this wound.
- What am I getting out of holding back from being more visible?
- What is my version of the worst-case scenario?
- What are the benefits of putting myself out there?
- What do I fear losing?
- Am I ready to be vulnerable?
- What are the benefits from being visible?
In acknowledging this wound, I gain a better understanding of my fear and blocks regarding being visible – being seen and heard – and how it’s impacting my life at the moment. Now I am able to do a speech or video more easily (I still won’t say I’m a natural! 🙂 ), and the negative energy and emotions that I felt have been released.
When I realized what was blocking me was a wound from the past, I was able to make peace with my negative thoughts, take a deep breath, and jump into bring on camera with a renewed focus!
The more I let go of the doubt, the more powerful I feel! Click To TweetBut none of us are immune to stumbling blocks.
Here are some ways to deal with self-criticism:
- Be aware and acknowledge it first, know the source and understand it
- Say: “I’m not perfect, and it’s all ok.”
- Journal constantly about it, and learn to let go
- Embrace the wound and fear – talk to it like an old friend
- Be prepared to be uncomfortable, but work with the fear. Deep breath and jump! ☺
- Once you know your fear- do the opposite of it
- Practice “Self-Love”
- Talk about it with trusted friend or hire a coach, without being afraid to be vulnerable – it’s all about being real and true to yourself
- Try again and again and again – even if you feel the fear rising from your soul; it’s the only way to retrain the old brain to overcome limiting beliefs
I know that over time being on camera is going to become second nature, and I won’t have to go through all these steps. I know I will overcome this fear and be authentically visible. But for now, I use them whenever the fear starts to creep back in.
I hope they help you, too.
P.S. I’m doing a FREE live session of my Soul Sisterhood Circle Program on August 21! Click Here to learn more and register. If you can’t make the live event, a replay will be available to all who register!